Let me tell you a story.
The man pictured above was a fat slob. You can see him in his fat-slob state, a grotesque mass of beer belly and body hair, on the left. For many years, he despaired of his flabby state. He yearned for the glistening, muscle-bound god of the beach within to be set free. Then, one day, when perusing through forgotten lore, he discovered a simple secret to getting ripped: A green dragon tattoo empowered with mystic script that would run up and down his arms.
Excited, he went straightaway to the nearest tattoo parlor and showed the ink artists the arcane pattern that he needed. They agreed, and a few painful hours later (for pain, dear reader, is weakness leaving the body) he sported his new tattoo. Sure enough, the sigil of the green dragon upon his flesh rewrote the truth about his soul written upon the World Page, changing its meaning from "overweight chump" to "svelte mountain of man-muscle". Within only four weeks, he was transformed: He beer belly shrank, he grew tight, enviable pecs and delts, and his body hair fell out as surely as if the most skilled of Brazilian wax artists had worked their magic upon him. He was a changed man, thanks to the simple secret of the magical dragon tattoo. You can see him on the right.
Or maybe the tattooed guy on the right and the flabby guy on the left are different people, and it's just another dishonest banner ad. I like my version better.
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